Jam Tutorial!

As promised, because I love you all. :)

Basically I followed all the instructions on the back of a box of pectin (found in the baking section of the grocery store, usually next to the artificial sweeteners). But here are all the steps, illustrated!

First, fill a ginormous stock pot with water and heat it up, and put the kettle on to boil. Then wash everything -- jars, lids, utensils -- in hot, soapy water. (Two tablespoons of dishsoap not required, unless you accidentally knock the dispenser into the sink.)

Place the rinsed jars in the hot water. Keep warm.

Place the lids in a small bowl and pour the freshly boiled water over them.
The filling station, all warm and waiting. Appropriately-themed handmade dish towel not required. (I can't believe I made that 10 years ago!!)

A note about my ginormous pot -- I bought this pot specifically for the purpose of jam-making, before we got our current lovely stainless steel set. I didn't want anything expensive, because I knew I'd probably tarnish the bottom with the high heats I'd be using (there are permanent jar-rings on the inside). It serves the purpose quite nicely. I know you can get special canning pots and racks and things, but I'm going for real low-tech here.

So, on to the next step: preparing your fruit of choice. In this case, farmer's market strawberries. You may need to section off the desired fruit and keep it in a specially refrigerated safe with at least 3 types of padlocks, preferably with a voice-activated security option. Or just threaten to cut out the tongues of anyone who TOUCHES the jam fruit. (Works for us.) Wash strawberries thoroughly, de-stem, slice. (Mr. Pickles very helpfully did this step.) I guarantee that the smaller the pieces, the less lower arm soreness from mashing the next day.

Next, mash fruit with potato masher. I recommend wearing an apron. Unless you're wearing strawberry red.
Don't add too much at a time to your mashing dish of choice -- otherwise it will take forever.

Measure your mashed fruit and add it to another stock pot -- not as ginormous as the first, but still big. You'll see why later.

As far as quantities goes, I found that 3 of those green containers above made exactly 6 cups mashed, which is what I needed for the lower-sugar jam recipe I followed. (The more sugar recipe required 5 cups.) I think the green containers were 1 1/2 pints, possibly 2, but don't quote me on that.

Next, I recommend cleaning up your counter a little bit, if your kitchen is like mine and has about 2 square feet of counter space. Even if you have room to stash stuff out of the way, you'll still want to get your sugar and pectin all set to go.
(For the lower-sugar recipe, you mix a little of the sugar with the pectin first, hence the small bowl.)

Okay, let's make some jam! Add your pectin to the mushed fruit of choice. Stir it up well.

Then turn your burner to high, STIRRING CONTINUOUSLY, until the mix is bubbling even while you're STIRRING. This is called a hard boil. STIR CONSTANTLY. I cannot emphasize this enough. If you stop stirring for even 10 seconds, some of the jam will scorch and then your whole batch will taste like burned strawberries and even though the rest of your family will claim not to notice and still devour the jam like a pack of ravenous wolves (do ravenous wolves like strawberry jam?) you will still be able to taste the scorchiness -- you will even be able to smell it on their breath. Trust me on this. DON'T STOP STIRRING!!

It also starts boiling way faster than you'd think, so it's not like you'll be standing there for hours.

Okay, now that your fruity mix (say it with an Irish accent -- it sounds better) has attained the coveted hard boil status, add your sugar allatonce, while STIRRING CONSTANTLY.
(I only have 2 hands, so I had to break my own rule and stop stirring for the 3 seconds I needed to take this picture.)

Once again, STIR quickly to get the sugar all mixed in, then STIR STIR STIR more until it's bubbling again. Oh, I almost forgot, while you're STIRRING, set your timer for one minute.
When the mix reaches the hard boil again, start the timer (or count to 60) and STIR while boiling for exactly one minute.

I recommend a 3-foot-long wooden spoon for this part. And standing back. It's pretty... um, intense.
See why you need a big pot? It helps if you can also recite lines from Macbeth at this point.

As soon as your timer goes off, remove the jam (yay! it's jam now!) from the heat, and give it a couple more stirs as it settles down. Since I only have one large burner (a pox on the designer), I have to switch my giant, heavy pots, so now the ginormous pot is on the large burner.

Yay! All ready to can!
For this step you'll also need a ladle and a wet cloth.

Alrighty, so using your tongs, you take a jar out of the hot water, ladle some jam (which will be very liquidy) into it, leaving some room at the top. My recipe says 1/8 inch, but that seems small to me so I usually go halfway up the threads.

Next, wipe off the rim and threads with the cloth to get all the jam you spilled, you messy thing, you.

Then pick a lid out of the bowl of scalding water.
I highly, highly recommed alternating the orientation of the lids when you're putting them in the bowl. You see I have some up and some down -- those things just love to nest and it is NO FUN having to pry apart with your bare fingers scalding hot metal lids that have suctioned together. Again, trust me on this.

So, set lid on jar, twist band on until it's "fingertip tight" which I assume means as tight as you can comfortably get it with your fingertips. Remember that the jar, which has been sitting in hot water all this time, is now full of boiling hot jam, so you will want to use a cloth or pot holder or something to hold the jar while you're screwing on the bands. (My cloth-hand is currently holding the camera.)
Little elves can also be very useful.

Now, using tongs again, gently lift jar back into hot water, pick out another empty jar, lather, rinse, repeat.
My jam got really foamy, so I scooped that to the side, and eventually out, while I was filling the jars. I don't know if the foam is bad, it's just not as pretty as the ruby red stuff. Supposedly if you add a teensy bit of butter it's supposed to reduce the foaming, but I haven't been brave enough to try that yet. I'm afraid it will affect the taste. I suppose if I used unsalted butter it wouldn't be noticeable, though.

When all your jars are filled and in the pot, make sure there's enough hot water to cover them by at least at inch. Then cover up the ginormous pot and crank up the heat. Bring the water to a boil, then turn it down to a simmer, and "process" the jars for 10 minutes. I honestly don't know what it's supposed to do, but I'm a good little sheep so I follow directions.

I had two more jars (plus a little smidgen) than fit in the ginormous pot, so I kept them in the now-slightly-less-than-scalding water until they could have a turn at processing too. The full jars, that is. The little smidgen I put in another jar in the fridge for immediate consumption.

Now is a good time to clean up the carnage.

After 10 minutes, turn off the heat, remove the jars from the water, tipping them slightly to pour off the water from the tops, and set them on a towel where they can sit undisturbed for 24 hours.
After a little bit -- sometimes even less than a minute, magical things will start to happen. They'll each make a metallic "pop" sound, as the lids suck down, from the air inside cooling and contracting. The girls like to count with me as we hear each one snap.

Yay! Congratulations! You just made virtual jam with me! Now it's your turn. And send me pictures of your womanly accomplishments! :)

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P.S. The best way to get strawberry juice off fabric is with very hot water.