Joseph-English Dictionary

Kids learning to speak languages is hilarious.  It's wonderful watching them try to wrap their little mouths around the big words they hear.

Here is a collection of some of our favorites (or "fravits") from the resident English-speaker-in-training, aka Joseph, age 3.

hocker-pocker/helipocter [helicopter]
pataytoe  [tomato]
fimfoop [swimsuit]
shlockit [chocolate]
ma-eel [oatmeal]
polka nuts [polka dots]
tigar [guitar]
brefkiss [breakfast]
chicken [kitchen]
Mr. Green Crebidle [the Incredible Hulk -- not be confused with "Mr. Crebidle," Pixar superhero]
cramma [camera]
Blue is my fravit!  [favorite]
Saduko [Sudoku]
smarshsmellows [you'll never guess...]

Quote of the Week

Jo-jo: "No I want pizza. I want BEER. It so good for me."

Maybe we should work on cultivating a spirit of detachment

Miriam, randomly: My favorite day in the world is Christmas!
Me: Why is that?
Miriam: Because you get more presents than your birthday!
Me: Ah. But what if you didn't get any presents on Christmas, would it still be your favorite?
Miriam: No, then my birthday would be.
Me: Okay, what if you didn't get ANY presents at all EVER, what would your favorite day be?
Miriam: Halloween!
Me: *sigh*
Miriam: No, wait -- Thanksgiving!
Me, grasping at some hope of true holiday spirit: Really?
Miriam: Yes, because we go to the hotel and get to go swimming!

Holidays. When you're a kid, it's all about what you get out of it. It reminds me of the year I wrote a letter to Santa (I must have been about Miriam's age) in which I praised him, saying there would be no joy in Christmas without him. I thought I was waxing eloquent, but when my mother read it she just gave me A Look, the same look which I'm sure I gave to Miriam after our exchange.

Liturgy in the Domestic Church

I love our china. So much so that I painted the dining room to match it. :) (Also, it was the only pattern in the store that Mr. Pickles and I could agree on when we were registering for wedding gifts.) I make sure we use it every Sunday -- it helps to set the day apart.

So this evening I was pulling out the china cups and plates, as it was my turn for hosting our homeschool group's Mother's Tea. Mr. Pickles came wandering through the dining room with Joseph in his arms, fresh from his bath. Joseph watched me for a moment and said,

"Oooh, pate."

[pause]

"Donut?"

(Because we get donuts every Sunday after Mass.)

Mr. Pickles and I lost it. That is a) one smart boy, and b) an example of the effectiveness of ritual!

Amen, Bruthah!

For some inexplicable reason, Mr. Pickles taught this to Joseph on a Sunday morning. BEFORE Mass.



Joseph got really into the Allelulia that Sunday. And now randomly he'll break out with "Play Lord!" Ahh, it's fun to have trained monkeys.

Our toddler has a potty mouth

Nine months after his sisters, Joseph has reached the Language Explosion Stage. When I first started writing this post almost a month ago, he was still getting the hang of this whole talking thing. But all of a sudden he's developed quite the vocabulary, even stringing a few words together to make toddler sentences (like "owie - head - door"). And he's been mastering l's and r's, which I thought was pretty advanced for this age. (I love how he says "shlockit" for chocolate.) However, he still needs some translation -- he's progressed from Old Solar to some Chinese (I think) mixed with English. At any rate, he has a hard time with beginning consonants. He likes replacing them all with initial f's, which can be really cute or really hilarious. Here are some frequent toddler gems:

faw -- straw

feep -- sweep

fain -- train

feeve -- sleeve

fippy -- slippy

fink -- drink

fee -- tree

foshesh -- (St.) Joseph

fuss -- bus

&#@! -- truck (by far his favorite word, naturlich)

...Or as Mr. Pickles says, there's nothing like coming home from work and hearing your toddler dropping f-bombs all over the place.



Ah, these are the golden moments we savor, because we know we can use them as ammo when the children become obnoxious teenagers. (tee hee hee...)

Now I know how to say "hippopotamus" in French

This must be Katie's long-lost twin. In France.

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Don't you just want to eat her up?

REAL role models

So I have a Queen Amidala action figure that I think came from McDonald's, years ago. Miriam and Katie would enjoy playing with it for the princess value. But today when they had some friends over who had seen Ep. 1, a friend remarked that Padme became the mother of Luke and Leia. Miriam's face suddenly lit up and her voice expressed her admiration as she exclaimed,

"You mean she's a MOMMY?!?"

I guess "Princess" is okay, but "Mom" is the ultimate in coolness!

That totally made my day/month/year.

The things they say

Katie: "Mmm, Mommy, thank you for dinner. It was lovely."

It's nice having my efforts appreciated. :)

The Princess and the Pauper

So Katie likes sitting in for Miriam's spelling tests because she thinks the sentences I make up to demonstrate the words are funny (to her). One of Miriam's spelling words last week was "are" so while dictating the test I used the word in the sentence "What ARE you going to be when you grow up?" Without skipping a beat, Katie piped up, "A printheth." I said, "Oh really? You know you'll have to marry a prince, right?" She replied, absolutely sure of herself, "Yeth. That'th what I'm going to do."

A couple days later for science I was reading to Miriam about farms. One of the books is a neat little book about a farm through the seasons. At the end Miriam sighed and said, "I wish I lived on a farm. When I grow up I'm going to be a farmer." She was undaunted by the fact that farming is lots of hard work. She insisted that she was going to grow cows and horses and apple trees and corn.

Quotable Quotes

"I opened the cupboard, and the chocolate powder was just sitting there, looking at me with puppy-dog eyes."
--Mr. Pickles justifying why he had to make brownies one night
(pssht, like I need justification!)

Yet another childhood fantasy goes fffffffft.

I recently finished reading this book to the girls, "Half Magic" by Edward Eager. It's the most hilarious book. (and one of many I pilfer-- I mean, borrowed from the parents' library) Yesterday while the girls were playing in the basement and I was otherwise occupied with Joseph in the living room, Katie came upstairs, found Miriam's wallet, and brought it down. I heard coins clanking on the table downstairs for a while. After a time Miriam came upstairs, sighed heavily, and said, "It just didn't work."
"What didn't work?" I asked.
"Well," she replied, "I wanted to be a baby again, so I got all my coins and tried wishing on them but none of them worked."
"Ah," I said. "No magic talismans in your wallet then?"
"Nope," she said, and sighed again.

Today, she asked me, "Are there any fairies in this world?"
I felt like a murderer when I admitted, "Probably not." (Since you KNOW every time a child says it doesn't believe in fairies anymore, somewhere a fairy drops down dead.)
"Because," with a shy smile, "it would be nice if we had some fairy dust so we could fly."
I felt terrible for killing her hope.
I suppose there's always parasailing. Or hang gliding.

When I'm dead, of course.

Curious Minds Want to Know

Miriam: "Is Paul Bunyan stronger than the Incredible Hulk?"

Quotable quotes

Generosity is a virtue I try particularly hard to cultivate amongst our small fry -- for one thing, a generous spirit reduces bickering significantly. Today, Katie let Miriam use her treasured Royal Doulton pink bunny plate for lunch, a great honor. After lunch I heard this exchange:

Katie: Do you know why I share things with you, Miriam?
Miriam: Why?
Katie: Because I LOVE you. *smack*
Miriam: Ew, gross! Mommy, Katie just tried to kiss me!
Katie: That's not gross!!

Hm, maybe we need to work on graciously accepting signs of affection...

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Katie, messing around on the piano: I made up a song. It's all about Joseph spitting up!

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Miriam is, to put it mildly, obsessed with age. She wants to know how old everyone is, and who's older or younger than a given person... I'm not sure exactly what purpose this fascination serves -- perhaps it's her way of figuring out her place in the world, or how the universe is related. Anyway, readers may already be aware that Mr. Pickles is much, much older than I (by three whole months -- actually, not even). I joke about it, but to Miriam it's serious business, apparently. Mr. Pickles recently recorded this exchange:

Mr. P: I don't remember Uncle Dan giving you that gift.
Miriam: Mommy does.
Mr. P: Mommy has a better memory than me.
Miriam: Yeah, that's because you're oooooold.

Out of the mouths of babes, hon.... :)

Katie Kan Kount!

Katie came up to me while I was eating breakfast this morning and said, "Mommy, listen!"

Quotable Quotes

CL, all dressed up in something pink and frilly: "I call myself 'Thinderella-Theeping Beauty-Fairy Pintheth'!"
A couple days later: "I'm not 'Thinderella-Theeping Beauty-Fairy Pintheth'. Now I'm 'Ariel-Thinderella'."
[...Have we mentioned that Katie's really into the princess thing?]

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ME: "Mommy, don't be mean or I'll bishk you with a fish!"
[someone's been reading lots of Dr. Seuss lately...]

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CL: "I want [insert completely irrational, unattainable 3yo wish here]!"
ME: "I hear someone whining...."
CL: "That's me!"

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ME: "Oh, that was a long, long, long, long, long time ago -- last week."

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CL, as she's turning away from me in her bed at naptime: "I don't want to smell your stinky face."
[I know I should have been insulted, but the way she said it was SOOOO cute!]

Proud Big Sister Already

Mr. Pickles was patting my belly and talking to its inhabitant last night, when Katie piped up, looking concerned, "That's MY baby!" But after a couple minutes she said to me, "That's my baby, but I'm going to share it wif you, an' wif Miwium, an' wif Daddy too!" Then she ran to tell Mr. Pickles that she was going to share the baby with him too.

I wonder if she will share in breastfeeding and 2am diaper changes...

We are experiencing technical difniculties... please stand by...

Sorry for the delay in posting pictures, folks -- we're having issues transferring them from Mr. Pickles' computer onto ours. (stoopid security-obsessed tech demons at the Bureau) Meanwhile, here's another Miriam quote to hold you for a bit.

[Scene: Miriam has set up two couch pillows at the foot of a flight of stairs, and is jumping from an undisclosed height onto them, in an attempt, she claims, to fly. Mrs. P is working on the computer and sees out of the corner of her eye Miriam rocketing through the air]
Mrs. P: Miriam, please be careful -- I don't want you to get hurt.
Miriam: Why?
Mrs. P, always the optimist: Because if you fall too hard you'll hurt your back and then I'll have to take you to the hospital and you'll have to stay there for a long, long time until your back heals. [Wow! I never knew these little showers could be so dangerous!]
Miriam, quietly, after thinking a moment: Will I get in trouble and get a spank?
Mrs. P: Bwa ha ha ha haaa!! No, if you break your back I promise I won't spank you.

Quotable Quotes

Miriam: "Pink goes with EVERYTHING."
[yes, I guess that's true when you're a five-year-old girl...]

Katie, as we stepped outside for a walk: "Mmm, it smells like toothpaste out here!"

Miriam, at Mother Angelica's farm in Alabama: "That emu frowned at me."

Scene: driving away from aforesaid farm, singing "Old MacDonald"
Miriam: "Daddy, I don't know what animal to say next."
Mr. Pickles: "Emu."
Miriam: "Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O, and on that farm he had an emu, E-I-E-- emu?!?"

Miriam: "Mommy, I don't like to use that toothpaste because it makes my brain taste like O's."
[say what?]

Developments in Katish

"Brrrrr, I'm all cold and sugary!"