So, I'm dieting, cont'd.

I have to share this news with all .5 of you who are interested, before all the Easter feasting skews everything.

So, fat flushing. I haven't been very good about following a strict Fat Flush Plan, but I have incorporated some of the principles into my diet. Most mornings I'll have a cup of hot water with lemon and honey. I'll start each meal with fruit or salad to fill up a bit before the main course. I try to eat more protein and fewer breads (hard during Lent!!). And I go to bed a little hungry (this was more due to Lent than dieting). I've been curious about my progress, so at the kids' last pediatrician appointment I took the opportunity to weigh myself, since we don't actually own a bathroom scale. I set the block at what I guessed to be my weight, but had to keep moving it down. I just about fell over when I saw my actual current weight. I checked it again. A couple days later I even went to a department store and tried their scales. Yep, no doubting it. I've lost nearly 20 lbs.! I'm still not comfortable sharing numbers publicly*, but let's just say I haven't weighed this little since I was a teenager, and taking ballet lessons!! I went WAY below my goal weight, and this was all through those simple changes mentioned above!

I still can't get over it. I don't really feel like I've been trying too hard -- I haven't even been exercising! (unless you count vacuuming, carrying a baby around, and toting laundry baskets up and down stairs). It's just amazing what simple portion control is doing for me. That's always been my weakness, so the dieting things I've been doing are simply things I know I should be doing ANYWAY -- they're really not anything too hard for me to do with a little will power (and the added incentive of Lenten sacrifice!).

So I told a friend about my success, and she congratulated me, and then we both said in unison, "Time to go SHOPPING!" :) To celebrate I bought myself a new pair of jeans in a size I haven't worn in YEARS. And here's something else I wasn't expecting -- my shoe size actually shrank! This is a huge, huge deal for me, since now I'M NO LONGER A WIDE SIZE. Does anyone understand what a monumental piece of news this is?? All kinds of shoe opportunities open themselves up! I can actually buy more than one new pair of shoes a year! I don't have to restrict myself to specialty shoe stores! (I even got 2 new pairs from Payless today -- one of which was $4! FOUR bucks!! not $40 on clearance!)

So all in all I'm very pleased with the results of my modified Fat Flushing. I never really cared too much about weight and sizes before, but now that my shopping has suddenly become so much less frustrating, I've finally found my incentive to stay trim. :)

And besides, Mr. Pickles tells me I look good. Hm, I think I need to add certain other items to my shopping list....


*I'm tall. I weigh more than shorter people with the same BMI. At one of my dr. apptmts a few years ago, the nurse who was weighing me suddenly looked me up and down and said in surprise, "Wow, you carry your weight really well!" I just looked at her, shocked that she could be so...tactless, especially since I was proud of that number at that time, and tried to brush it off with, "Yeah, well, I'm tall." The odd thing was that she wasn't much shorter than I am. Doesn't she own a scale either? Hello, it's okay for a woman who's 5'10" to weigh a little over 150 -- that's well within the NORMAL range for BMI -- don't insult her by telling her that weighing that much she ought to look fatter! Sheesh. So... that's why I'm a little hesitant to share numbers.

So, I'm dieting.

Sort of.

I just find it depressing still having to wear maternity clothes several months after a baby is born. It just doesn't seem FAIR. When I was pregnant with Joseph I was DETERMINED that I was going to be as healthy as I had been with Miriam. I had so many grand plans of eating right and walking every day -- we even got bikes for the kids so that after the baby was born we could go on long walks together -- and then I was sick off an on for most of the last trimester, which effectively chucked all those lovely plans right out the window. I didn't gain too much -- at least my doctor never said anything. But it still wasn't the controlled, healthy weight gain I had hoped for -- the kind that sheds right off after birth (like with Miriam -- I was back in regular clothes after 2 months). Six months after Joseph was born I still hadn't lost a significant amount of weight since the initial postpartum period, even with breastfeeding. I felt like I had hit a plateau, so I tried cutting calories. That didn't work -- all it did was make me cranky and hungry all the time. Nursing moms really can't cut calories drastically!

Then Christmas came, with all the delicious treats and sweets and cookies and breads and feasting and sugar and oh me oh my! Talk about carb overload. I was ready for some serious detox by the time the New Year rolled around. Right about then I followed a rabbit trail from Elizabeth Foss's blog about a diet she was going to try that was friendly to nursing moms, and helped her with detachment. A little light went off for me. I happen to love carbs -- pasta, breads, cookies, crackers -- these are my comfort foods. And whenever I'm feeling stressed I tend to pop a couple crackers, or butter up a slice of bread, to help my mood. There's something about munching that's comforting to me.

While reading about this diet I also came across the blogs of two other women who really inspired me. One talked about the amazing amount of weight she lost on the Fat Flush Plan, but more importantly, all the spiritual lessons she gained in the process. I think she might even have experienced a conversion to the Catholic Church. (all from her diet!) Another blogger really struck me with her spiritual insights into food and the purpose of eating. From this one I adopted the motto "Eat to live, not live to eat." I borrowed The Fat Flush Plan (I really hate the name) from the library and dove into it. It makes so much sense -- it's all about getting your liver working at peak efficiency to burn up extra fat stores. I've been recommending it to everyone I know who's struggling with the same issue.

From these three sources I realized why it is that I hadn't been losing weight. Often my reasons for eating are emotional, rather than what they should be -- hunger. I need to wait until I feel hungry to eat something. And then I should eat something nourishing. And stop when I feel full enough. I wasn't doing any of these things on a regular basis.

So on January 2nd I started eating based on a modified version of the Fat Flush plan. I started drinking hot water w/freshly squoze lemon juice (and some honey -- not part of the Plan!) every morning before breakfast. This was surprisingly yummy and satisfying -- I find I don't feel the need for tea anymore. I also tried to begin every meal with fruit or a salad, eating a good bit of protein, and saving anything starchy for the very end, IF I was still hungry. I snacked on almonds in between meals, which are really very satisfying in small doses. I also tried drinking diluted unsweetened cranberry juice, but I think that was just a little too intense! Mostly, I just tried to be conscious of what I was eating and why I was eating. On Sundays I relax a little -- I'll allow myself the occasional donut, and snacks between meals, and desserts, and such. It's nice having one day where I don't have to be on top of everything I eat all the time. I've also been keeping a journal and noting everything that I put in my mouth each day. It's amazing how this can nip temptation in the bud, when you know you're going to have to admit it to yourself and write it down!

So anyway, the results? In less than two weeks, Mr. Pickles said he could notice a difference already. Most of the cottage cheese effect on my thighs was gone. I dropped a pants size. I lost 3 inches from my hips. I felt more alive during the day. I don't have a scale, so I don't know how much weight I've lost, but that's not as important to me as clothing sizes! I'm SO glad to be OUT of my pregnant clothes, FINALLY!!

My next goal is to get the leftover baby belly to shrink a bit. I will probably need to be more disciplined about exercising every day -- by which I mean I will need to actually start doing it. :) But I'm confident now that I can get back in some semblance of shape -- something other than "squashy pear."

The hardest thing about living a healthy life right now has to be the whole exercise thing. I don't like exercising for its own sake. The idea of going to a gym is sheer torture to me -- it seems like such a phenominal waste of my time. I've got so many other better things I could be doing! Like cleaning my house! Or baking! Or reading! Being a mom -- specifically, a homeschooling mom -- places definite limits on one's free time. Every minute is precious. But I love being outside. I love gardening, I love sitting outside under a tree, I love walking. I would LOVE to take a 45-minute walk every day, but exactly where I would fit that in, with 3 children, continues to
baffle me. Ideally I'd like to take my walks alone, since taking children with you instantly renders a "walk" into a crawl, since you'll be stopping at every tree and rock and puddle along the way. I guess the answer is to make better use of our jogging stroller of sorts. It's especially difficult in cold weather, since everybody who isn't exercising would need to be especially bundled up. I get stressed just thinking about it, it's such a hassle. I suppose I ought to dust off those lovely ballet exercise DVDs that were given to me, which are perfect for bad weather.

So basically what I'm seeing here is that I really have no excuse for not exercising. If it were a priority. Which it should be. Hm, need to work on this one....

I may have more things to say as I continue with this conscientious eating thing. For now, it's been very eye-opening. And humbling. You never realize how attached you are to something until you try to give it up....