Parenting Wisdom courtesy Dave Barry

Mr. Pickles is currently going through the nesting phase. He made some serious progress tackling the clutter monster in our dungeon, and in the process found some timely quotes from Dave Barry that we had saved.

On childbirth prep:
"When my wife and I attended childbirth classes, we sat in a classroom filled with expectant couples and a mounting sense of dread. The teacher started with a scientific discussion of childbirth, in which she showed us various diagrams and models to give us an idea of what would happen when the Big Moment arrived. In my opinion, the most informative way to do this would be to hold up a bowling ball and a drinking straw, and say: 'Basically, THIS has to go through THIS. Ha ha!'"

Husband-Coached Childbirth in a nutshell:
"I just want to take a moment here to get down on my knees and thank whoever invented our current biological system, under which the woman's job is to have the baby somehow go from the inside of her body to the outside of her body, in clear violation of every known law of physics, and the man's job is to stand around looking supportive and periodically, no matter what is actually happening to the woman, say, in an upbeat and perky voice, 'You're doing great!'"

On Second Stage labor:
"When a woman gets to approximately her fifteenth year of labor, she begins making noises that you rarely hear outside of nature documentaries, and her husband edges back a little bit in case she gets her hands on a scalpel. But then it happens, the Blessed Event, the timeless miracle that makes the whole thing worthwhile: The woman has a baby via a process that makes what happened in Alien look like an episode of Teletubbies."

On parental devotion:
"As a trained journalist I can state with total objectivity that my new daughter is the cutest little girl in the history of the world. The doctors took one look at her and immediately decided that they would shut down the hospital birthing unit, because this baby was so perfect that there was clearly no point in making any more."

I have to disagree with him on the last one. All of our babies hold the title of Cutest Baby Ever. We even have a neutral third party to confirm this: one of Mr. Pickles' co-workers who reads our blog told us we should have MORE children because they're soooo beautiful.

I am doing the best I can.

The Stages of Pregnancy

• ZOMG!1! Pregnant
• Bleg Pregnant
• Cutely Pregnant
• Definitely Pregnant
• Very Pregnant
• STILL PREGNANT

Introducing the New Arrival(s)!!

No, not That One. It's still kicking and hiccuping away in blissful oblivion that its life is about to change dramatically very soon.


I mean This One! Hooray for Aunt Katie!

My baby cousin is living with us for the summer during her internship in Our Nation's Capital. The kids (not to mention their mother) couldn't be more excited about her being here. It's only hard that she has to be gone all day at work! She is such a joy to have around. It's going to be a great summer with her here. We may not let her go back home in August.

We also have another arrival, of a furrier variety.

Meet Smokey! We inherited her -- quite Providentially -- from a family who is getting ready to move out of state. Since she came from a large family, she seems to be used to being mauled by small children. She is turning out to be the sweetest, friendliest, rabbity-est, (and hungriest), lop-eared love. We're keeping her in the kitchen so she is getting lots of lovings from the kids (and grownups too). It's fun having a bunny again.

Finally, lest the gerbils be neglected, they inherited a sweet deluxe two-story penthouse from the miniature hamsters next door.

Lots of exciting new things going on in the Pickle Jar!

Family Fun Day

As The Grand Event approaches, I have found my personal limit for stimulation has lowered drastically. Last week I decided that there was altogether Too Much Neighborhood Drama going on, all of which involved me getting out of my comfy chair during my Sacred Priceless Quiet Time to deal with conflicts, refuse multiple requests for feeding the neighborhood hordes, mitigate disputes, interpret intentions more charitably, head off character bashing, and otherwise deal with all the issues one deals with when one's sweet homeschooled innocents have contact with girls ages 6-10 who learned their manners on public school playgrounds. I had had it up to here with sifting through all the garbage, especially now that I really need quiet time in the middle of the day. I felt like my peace was constantly getting disturbed, my sacred space was constantly being violated by vandals. The blatant disregard for authority (I'm just amazed at how many parents around here don't teach their children the meaning of the word "no") and utter disrespect for others are what really got under my skin. I was sick of being invisible until somebody wanted something from me. I just wanted to escape from it all and enjoy a nice, quiet, fun day with my family, so I suggested to Mr. Pickles that we run away on Saturday and do something fun. I didn't care what -- I just wanted to get my family away from the neighborhood to someplace emotionally safe for the day.

So we brought a picnic to a nearby park. And by "we" I mean Mr. Pickles made all the arrangements so I hardly had to lift a pinkie. He is so good to me.

Near our table Katie the Naturalist (by which I mean she is not afraid of picking up creepy crawlies) found a ladybug. Joseph was fascinated.

Poor thing. I would be very surprised if it survived after we finally left it alone.

The park we went to is awesome. It was packed with other families doing the same thing we were:

letting our monkeys climb around,

riding the mini train (with real bell! and whistle! AND it went through a tunnel! and over a bridge!),

riding the carousel (Joseph's impression: "up an' down! woun awoun!"),

hugging trees,

and generally having a good time (and hopefully getting the kids all worn out so they would sleep really well).

The park also has an ice cream shop, which we patronized happily, and a mini-golf course which we didn't, but will someday. (P.S. to potential visitors: they also have a frisbee golf course!)

Altogether a Grand Day Out.

Just what the doctor ordered.

A very merry unbirthday to Katie, to Katie

Katie turned 5 1/2 earlier this month. Since the poor kid has gotten the shaft the last couple birthdays as far as parties go (and really noticed it the last time around) I decided to assuage my maternal guilt and give her a little celebration of her own before the new baby comes. After Birthday Week, Katie was making all kinds of plans for her next birthday, and it didn't seem fair to make her wait so long to see them come to fruition.

So she got to have a half birthday party! It was a lot of fun to try to come up with "half" ideas. She invited all her closest friends, and we asked them to wear half fancy and half casual. The girls got a kick out of that. I wish I had taken pictures of the decorations -- Katie chose two colors of streamers which I swirled together, and long worm-shaped balloons which looked hilarious and were well-nigh impossible to inflate. (I sure couldn't -- thank goodness for Mr. Pickles' manly lungs!)

We did a little craft -- decorating popsicle stick puppets with markers and stickers.

Joseph had to get in on the action. (He didn't understand that it was a girls' party -- he wanted to play with the forbidden markers!)

Keeping up with the birthday theme, one of the things we served for a party snack was strawberries cut in half. I had also gotten some cookies that were half chocolate and half vanilla, but my pregnancy brain caused me to leave them in the pantry. Oh well. We enjoyed them later. :)

I had planned at least one game -- musical chairs -- but the girls were having so much fun just playing together that I decided not to complicate things unnecessarily.

She got some great presents -- I think the most well-used was a pack of glimmery card stock and scissors that cut scallops. She was pleased with everything she received, which was cute to see.

Then we sang Happy Birthday (I forgot to tell the girls to sing only half of each line -- or half of each word -- that would have been funny), and Katie blew out 5 1/2 candles placed on half cupcakes.

I was so happy to put this on for our sweet Bearcakes -- she had a great time with her friends, and got to feel special for a day, which is exactly what I wanted for her. She's so independent that it's easy to forget that she needs just as much attention as Miriam.

And now she's already making plans for her NEXT birthday....

Joseph's room

We recently moved Joseph out of the crib and into a toddler bed. It was time. For one thing, he had broken at least one screw -- possibly two -- on the frame during his early morning calisthenics (which involved jumping up and down as high as he could, or else shaking the side bar as hard as he could). It's really amazing that the thing was still together, and hadn't collapsed on him during some night.

what little boys do to *coughtwentyyearoldmattressescough*

So, now he's in his own little bed (complete with fluffy new mattress). It's nice b/c I can actually reach in to kiss him goodnight now (his younger sibling was preventing me from doing that in the crib). And for a while, he didn't realize that he could get out of his bed by himself. He would sit groggily in his bed and wait for someone to come get him after he woke up. We hoped this illusion would last a while... until MIRIAM showed him he could get out of his bed all by himself, and LEAVE HIS ROOM when he woke up! Grrrrr! I think I'm going to show him how he can jump on her first thing in the morning when he wakes up. Ha ha, just kidding. (mostly)

One morning (on a weekend, naturally) Mr. Pickles and I were awakened at 6:25 am by the sound of: pitter-patter-pitter-patter-RATTLERATTLE-pitter-patter-pitter-patter-RATTLERATTLE as Joseph was stomping back and forth between our bedroom doorknobs, trying to figure out which one he could open (they both have babyproof doorknob covers). Finally Mr. Pickles, God bless him, stumbled over to a door and opened it, to be greeted immediately by "Mlilk? Ceweal? Mlilk? Ceweal?" I'm totally teaching him how to wake up his sisters first. (Actually, he usually does that anyway, since when he wakes up he pounds on his door and yells, "May-yum! Tay-tee! May-yum! Tay-tee!" until one of them gets up and goes to play with him -- or lets him into MY room, grrr. )

Then one afternoon after we put him down for his nap, I kept hearing a bedroom door opening and slamming. I thought it was one of the girls (specifically, Katie) being thoughtless, but when I went to check, neither of them was upstairs. It was Joseph, the little stinker, NOT in bed sleeping, but trying to work up the courage to come downstairs even though he hadn't slept yet. I explained the situation to him, and although he made a couple passionate and principled counter-arguments, I think I made my point. At any rate he eventually fell asleep. However, when I went to get him out of bed later, I couldn't get in the room b/c he had figured out how to LOCK HIS DOOR, through the babyproof doorknob cover we put on it!!! This kid has got some talent. So I had to take apart the doorknob to open his door, since I couldn't find a screwdriver both strong and skinny enough to unlock it via the little hole from the outside. When I put it back together I fixed it so that the lock won't work. Hopefully. Mr. Pickles suggested I turn it so that the lock is on the OUTSIDE. There's a lot of merit in that idea, since he already broke one knob cover.

But his new bed is cute, don't you think?
note car blankie head bumper (thank you Great Auntie Sweeney!) and toy car on pillow (usually he insists on sleeping with a truck too)

Oh, does anyone have an idea for where I could find some wall-stickies of cars and/or trains, preferably not Disney or Thomas-themed? And which won't cost me $80?

Liturgy in the Domestic Church

I love our china. So much so that I painted the dining room to match it. :) (Also, it was the only pattern in the store that Mr. Pickles and I could agree on when we were registering for wedding gifts.) I make sure we use it every Sunday -- it helps to set the day apart.

So this evening I was pulling out the china cups and plates, as it was my turn for hosting our homeschool group's Mother's Tea. Mr. Pickles came wandering through the dining room with Joseph in his arms, fresh from his bath. Joseph watched me for a moment and said,

"Oooh, pate."

[pause]

"Donut?"

(Because we get donuts every Sunday after Mass.)

Mr. Pickles and I lost it. That is a) one smart boy, and b) an example of the effectiveness of ritual!

Math Under Fire

alternative title: Homeschooling With a Toddler Boy in the House

Ooh! Ooh! I want 'em! I want 'em!

*picks self up off floor*

HT: First Things

File under "A" for "Awwwww"

Miriam has been struggling with Math lately. She gets the material, she just tends to get lazy, or doesn't pay close enough attention, or something, but she was making lots of little errors -- like forgetting to carry the one, or not reading the whole word problem. Word problems in particular seem to be her bane. I already know that her reading comprehension is like mine -- not the best.

But on her last test (subtracting multiple numbers, like 987 - 123, plus review questions) she got every single one right, all the addition, all the word problems, everything!! She was SOOO pleased with herself, and I really heaped on the praise. Katie was sitting nearby to witness all this. After a minute she asked me how to spell "juh" -- say what? "Like in 'congraJUHlations.'" I told her, and then had to leave the room momentarily, but I'm guessing she asked Miriam a couple questions too. Shortly after I came back, Katie presented Miriam with a paper on which was written:

kNGRATULAShinS MIRIAM FOR 100 PeRCeNT
(with smiley faces, numbered 1-4, and a drawing of a "PinK PRinSUS")

I love the phonetic spelling. This is definitely going in the Keepers file.

Miriam's First Communion Day!

Wow, that last post was a downer. Let's cheer things up a bit. Nothing like the celebration of a Sacrament to do that. :)

So remember the Ingalls girls? That was practice for Miriam's First Communion hairdo.

(taken from the 5yo POV) I made the mistake of trying to brush out the curls. Holy frizz, Batman!

Nicely tamed and ringleted and sprayed within an inch of its life.


So excited for her big moment!


This was after the Mass, with her class. She was just radiant.


Mr. Pickles and I had our favorite wedding photo taken here, so we thought it was appropriate to commemorate another big family sacrament here as well.

After Mass we had a small party at our house.

a very homemade cake :) (This was taken before Joseph climbed onto the table and pushed the "jewels" all the way down into the cake.)

Here Miriam is opening presents surrounded by an admiring throng.

Congratulations, little lady!

A good reminder

from Pleasant View Schoolhouse, one of the "Mommy blogs" in my Google Reader:


Advice for young moms? Honey, it's different for you. Don't expect to be able to do everything during these days. These days are the most challenging parenting you'll do. Keep up with the laundry, feed your family fresh vegetables, sweep the floor when you have to, get some fresh air, and try, try, try to do a little something creative every day. You'll feel so much better.


I really needed to hear this. Most days I feel like this whole homeschooling mom thing is a superhuman task, and I often go to bed discouraged, mulling over all the things I didn't do on a given day. I know it will get easier, and soon, but that's small comfort when I look around and see all the dust and clutter building up, and feel like a failure of a homemaker -- or when I have to forgo playing with the littles because the laundry is starting to back up or I have to plan lessons or make necessary phone calls I've been putting off for weeks. There is nothing harder or more personally demanding than being a mother of small children, a homemaker, and a homeschooler all in one. I'm still trying to figure out how to manage my time so that I fulfill all my duties reasonably well (I'm so beyond expecting perfection) and yet have occasional opportunities to be creative and thereby refresh my spirit. It's hard when I live in the completely unreasonable terror of CPS knocking on the door and determining that I am unfit to keep these children because they have jam on their faces, or the floor hasn't been vacuumed yet this week, or there are dirty finger smudges all over the walls. Yes, unreasonable, I know. To each his own nightmare. I've never handled criticism well, so living in fear of being judged by an authority with disastrous consequences is just one of the many subconscious manifestations of that ever-present maternal guilt. (We all know we could be doing better, right?)

I think I need to get out of the house more.