I've been married for over 10 years.
I've been a mother for over 9.
And still, I keep waiting for the real mother to come and take care of things. When the girls were really little I used to wake up in cold sweats, realizing that I was the one supposed to be in charge. Now I feel like I'm just playing house until she gets here. And for good reason -- the Real Mom is everything I'm not but wish I could be. She is such a delightful person, a true heart of the home.
This Real Mom never says things like, "Well, if you hadn't been so careless you wouldn't have gotten hurt." Instead, she sympathetically kisses the owie and applies a bandaid, even if it's not bleeding.
She also never says things like, "Just a minute," or, "We'll see," or, "Mmm," whenever the children ask her to do something when she's in the middle of something. No, she responds right away with a just answer.
The Real Mom never, ever yells at the kids. She may use a strong voice when needed, but she never yells out of anger. She would rather die than use profanity in front of her children. Instead, she sings a lot.
The Real Mom always dresses stylishly and smells nice.
The Real Mom always gets up on time so she can start breakfast before everyone else wakes up. She also never, ever stays up past her bedtime to watch old movies on Netflix.
The Real Mom keeps the floors relatively clean and the house dusted, and doesn't mind spending her days picking up other people's messes.
The Real Mom smiles a lot. When she has a bad day (everybody has them -- even the Real Mom) she fixes hot chocolate with marshmallows for everyone, and scraps school plans to sit on the couch and read books to the kids.
The Real Mom always has time for Mr. Pickles in the evening, and never even looks in the direction of her laptop when he is home (unless he's on his iMagic).
Doesn't this Real Mom sound like the kind of person who REALLY ought to be in charge of taking care of other people, instead of impatient, disorganized, lazy, selfish ol' me? But until she shows up, I guess I'll have to do. Meanwhile I suppose I should try to be as like her as possible, since family life would be such a beautiful, peaceful thing if she were here.
This is poetry! How true! Well, I guess its good to have a standard to aim for...even if it's as high as the REAL mom! :) Plus, I love how you didn't even touch on dishes and laundry! (thank you!)
ReplyDeleteI think it's because the Real Mom doesn't let dishes or laundry get in the way of loving the family, instead of using them as an excuse to get away from the family. :)
ReplyDeleteBoy, it's sure nice to know I'm not the only mother who feels the way I do. I'm sure the Real Mom would not have a daily temper tantrum either...
ReplyDeleteAt this point in my life, though, I have an appreciation for the Unreal Mom...at least she's honest! And no better time than Lent to think about those blessed words we'll soon hear: "O happy fault,
O necessary sin of Adam,
which gained for us so great a Redeemer!" God be glorified in us and in our families, in spite of all our faults! The moments of repentance for yelling at my kids have made a greater impression on them than the yelling.
So true! I'm still waiting (after 35 years) for the Real Mom (and her twin the Real Wife) to show up. How come we know them so well when we've never met them?
ReplyDeleteThe greatest consolation for me came one day when I was feeling particularly keenly how imperfect a mother I was. I realized that not only had God given me the particular children that I needed to have in order to help me to grow as a person; similarly, He had given them the particular mother they needed to have. Not only my strengths but also my weaknesses would in some mysterious way help them to develop and mature as God intended.
As least I hope that's how it worked.
Mom! You're the best mom ever! I wouldn't want any other except for you!! Love you Mommy!
ReplyDeleteMiriam