I was reading
a post on Lady Lydia's blog about what her daughter did at home during her teen years. It's a very sweet post -- reminds me somewhat of my own teen years and that of many of my homeschooling friends'. But in the comments was a note from a woman whose 19-year-old daughter refuses to do anything -- go to work, get a job, help around the house -- nothing, that is, except watch TV and shop. Another commenter posted a link to
an article from Boundless Webzine about a new classification for this unwillingness to grow up: "adultescence" (or as Boundless terms them, "kidults"). I couldn't believe how some sociologists were encouraging these self-absorbed, immature adults to continue living off their parents, buying all the toys (or cars or iPods) they wanted, before they were sucked down into the responsibilities of family life. One even said, "Enjoy it.... Once it goes, it ain't coming back. Sooner or later, you'll have a family, a mortgage and a retirement plan." And of course everyone knows that's what adult life is all about -- all work and no play. Unbelievable. It reminded me of
a great article in First Things a while back -- I may have mentioned it before -- about the fact that we simply don't know how to act like grown-ups.
This topic has been on my mind a lot lately as I approach my 30th birthday. Rather than feel depressed at the end of my youth, I'm looking forward to finally feeling like a grownup. (Although youth is relative -- the other day I heard someone described as -- "a young kid, only 40 years old!") :) I have no regrets about my 20's -- I think I spent them fairly well. Now I look forward to revelling in everything my 30's have to offer! I know it's going to be a great decade -- for one thing, it will be a joy to watch our family grow.
Art & Literature by Loren Entz
Ha ha! You're OLD! I'll never be as old as you!
ReplyDelete-Pesky younger brother, age 27
Dave,
ReplyDeleteI hear that from your older sister allll of the time.
Mr. P
Now, related to the article. Oh boy, I remember hearing this same talk when I was in high school. I heard a lot of it from my friends, and I even heard it from some of my teachers. Looking back now, I can see that those teachers who said it were the "coolest" teachers, meaning that they were more like the teenage students.
ReplyDeleteI even hear the same talk from some of my coworkers. They talk about how great it would be to be a teenager again (that is, no responsibility), yet also have the maturity and wisdom of their now adult selves. What maturity would they have if not for their current responsibilities? It's the same line I heard from high school friends who talked about "taking their time" until they decided to grow up.
I was happy to move beyond my teenage years. Why would I want to go back?
Good points, Mr. & Mrs. Pickles!
ReplyDeleteThe article on "kidults" was interesting. I've noticed for some time that our culture encourages people to remain adolescent in their attitudes toward life -- to be almost totally self-absorbed and irresponsible -- long past legal maturity. What a waste of potential! I don't see how any "kidult" can be really happy. A real life of loving relationships and unselfish service to others -- basically, being other-directed rather than self-centered -- is so much more interesting and fulfilling than self-indulgence. Don't you find that to be true? I wonder what the "kidults" will be like in middle age or later. I suspect there will be a lot of really unhappy, selfish, lonely people in the retirement homes!
Personally, I didn't find adolescence all that much fun. I remember a lot of teenage angst and uncertainty. I was happy to be an adult with some sense of who I was, and liked the feeling that I could take care of myself instead of being a dependent kid. And yes, I liked turning 30 and finally feeling like a grownup! When I talk to teens, I always try to reassure them that despite what anybody else says, these are NOT the best years of their lives, and adulthood is LOTS better!
(What a depressing thought, that the teen years are best, and it's all downhill after 18! Maybe that's why there are so many "kidults" -- they've been brainwashed into thinking that only childhood is any fun.)