Washed three loads of laundry, including diapers.
Made three loaves of bread.
Went to the fabric store.
Read Bible stories to Miriam.
Washed lots of dishes.
Made roast chicken for dinner.
Made dinner for a friend who just had a baby.
Reprocessed a jar of apple butter.
(What I did Sunday afternoon, after I had finally found the local farmer's market!)You think I'd feel some sense of accomplishment after all that. But instead, at the end of the day I felt disappointed b/c what I wanted to do was all the above plus:
Do more schoolwork with Miriam.
Mop the kitchen floor (which is in a sorry state after two hours of apple butter burbling on the stove).
Clean the bathrooms.
Wash three more loads of laundry.
Vacuum.
Clean off the dining room table.
Play the piano.
I couldn't let go of the things I had wanted to do and focus on the things I had actually done. I'm not sure why, but I think it's related to a feeling of failure if I can't stay on top of all the work that needs to be done to keep a family running smoothly. It's like I'm not qualified for my position if I can't keep a clean house, take care of myself, and raise my children well all at the same time.
I felt better after a cup of hot chocolate and several handfuls of chocolate chips. :)
I also remembered that during the newborn days, I considered it a major accomplishment if I could do ONE non-baby-related thing per day. Whoa, what a multi-tasker! I think it would be easier if I had older children to help out with the housework. A friend of mine once called this stage of life "baby bootcamp" -- it's a very intense stage where I feel like it's me vs. encroaching chaos every day. Soon enough I'll have a couple allies in the struggle (I already have a part-time one in my wonderful husband who vacuums and washes dishes and folds laundry when he's home), but for now I need to learn to live with an imperfectly kept house so I can focus on what's really important --
my daughters.
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