Have we mentioned...

... the fact that Miriam likes "The Sound of Music"? The other day I noticed she kept scooting up a flight of stairs, backwards, singing something about the sun and going to bed. Then she would lay her head on the top step -- and I realized she was singing Gretel's line from "So Long, Farewell"!!! That poor kid needs to get out more.

In other movie news, Miriam calls the musical "7 Brides for 7 Brothers" the Uncle Dave movie, since the main character Adam has a big bushy beard. :) (btw, she doesn't believe me when I show her earlier pictures of Unca Dave sans beard and try to convince her that's who it is.)

ahhhh yes....

Ain't third trimester grand?

Other Miriam News

Today's Headline: 2-year old speaks Latin!
Greg recently overheard our daughter repeating some words that sounded very familiar, but he couldn't quite figure out what she was saying. Then he realized that he was listening for the wrong language. Here's a sampling of what she said:

Agnus Dei
(muttering)
Qui tolis pekata
mundi
Mi-(muttering) nobis

Greg couldn't believe it until he asked Genevieve to listen to her. She heard the same thing. When Greg said, "She's saying the Agnus Dei," Miriam looked up at him and started singing from the beginning.

In Other News

Miriam continues in her delight of singing songs from "The Sound of Music".

Miriam has picked up several songs. Genevieve mentioned a few of them in other posts. Here's another song she enjoys from "The Sound of Music"

The Goodnight Song ("…so long, farewell, …")
Miriam once hid behind a chair, then popped her head out to the side singing "Cu-koo, cu-koo".

Miriam continues in her delight of singing "TROGDORRRR!!!"

Due to the influence of her Uncle Joe and Aunt Rie, Miriam picked up this name (link soon to be attached if I can figure it out) and the song from which the name comes. The song is actually a humorous heavy metal ditty from something.com, ..., I mean homestarrunner.com. (Those of you familiar with the site will get that joke. Those who aren't, you'll just have to check out the website) For those of you who don't have the stamina for bad heavy metal (I know, as if regular heavy metal wasn't bad enough), the song is about a dragon who goes around and "burninates" (I'm sure that word is copyrighted) the villagers and the countryside.

When Miriam climbs up on Daddy's back, she'll occasionally say, in a gravelly voice, "Trogdorrrr!!". This must her battle cry or something, because she seems to expect him to march off like an ouliphant going to war.

I must admit that Miriam has had a bit of encouragement from her father, as he will occasionally sing it himself out of sheer enjoyment for the song's silliness.

Regarding Comments

An Alert Reader just pointed out to me that Blogger will try to get you to sign up before you can post a comment to any of our blogs. Don't DO IT!!! Don't FEEL PRESSURED!!! I think you can just click on the "post anonymously" link and you won't be harrassed to JOIN THE EMPIRE. (Of course, it would be nice if you left a name so we'd know whom to send the hatemail to--- I mean, who was leaving the comment.) :) (Okayyyy, can we tell I've had too much sugar today? I think the in utero Karate Kid can tell too...) If that doesn't work, I guess you'll just have to email us the old-fashioned way!

Speaking of #3...

Hence the nickname "Peanut" (almost 2 mos.) 


at 20 wks, cuteness from head... 


...to toe! 

Cuteness Update

I can't believe it's been over 3 months since our last Miriam update! Of course we've forgotten a lot of the hilarious/cute things she's done that we wanted to tell you all about (parental amnesia), but fortunately in a couple moments of foresight we jotted a few things down.

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A MUSIC CRITIC OF TENDER YEARS

Miriam has very discriminating musical tastes. One day when I was scanning through various radio stations, every time I paused at a pop station she would frown and say decidedly "No like dat moosic!" She seems to prefer Classical, especially "pano moosic". However, when I came to one with a steady beat, she smiled and started bopping her head. Only two and she's already a teeny bopper!

I'm still not sure what she thinks of my playing the piano at home -- she likes to sit nearby and read books while I'm playing, but every time I come to the end of a song, she cries, "Yay! Mommy all done pano!" Can't tell if that's supposed to be a subtle hint or not...

Miriam has a very good ear for music. I don't know if it's a sign of her superior intelligence or if it's just typical of all kids this age (I know which option her grandparents would choose!) but she catches on to songs and memorizes them very quickly. She's got pretty much all the songs from Sound of Music down pat. Her favorites are Do Re Mi and So Long, Farewell. Do Re Mi: for a while she would sing, "Re, a deer, I call myself" over and over, but now she can sing the whole song from the movie, including the "Do mi mi, mi so so" part. (She knows it even better than Dad!) So Long, Farewell: for a while she would BEG us to sing "in the hole, in the hole" and was very upset when we wouldn't comply. We had NO idea what she could possibly mean. Finally it dawned on me that she was quoting "in the hall" as in, "There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall." NOW she says, "Mommy, sing 'In the clock in the hall and the bells in the steeple too'? Please do dat for me?" (How can I resist?) :) Another popular request is, "Mommy, sing 'I like to stay and taste my first paint'?" (She's inherited her father's gift for making up words to songs that she doesn't really know.) ;)

She must be proud of the fact that she's a determined carnivore (sorry all you vegetarians out there!) -- another of her fav songs to sing at the top of her lungs is, "I've got a friend in meat!" (I wonder if the fact that she sings this the most after watching the Toy Story movies means anything?)

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A TWO YEAR OLD'S GRASP OF LANGUAGE

I know there's a tons of things we wanted to add here, but I could only remember a couple -- It's hilarious watching little kids buidling a language from the ground up. They seem to cycle through favorite words or phrases. For a while Miriam's was "do X NOW" as in, "Daddy, sit up NOW!" She gives her opinions very decidedly for so young a person. (10 points to whoever can place that quote!) Another "now" phrase has been "I'm busy wight now," used especially whenever we ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, like pick up her toys. I can't really be annoyed when she does this, because I know that she learned it from me!

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da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-
POTTY TRAINING UPDATE!!!!
(those of you with no children may want to skip this part)

Yes, we've started! We had thought about waiting until after #3 was born, but we figured we'd at least like to lay the groundwork beforehand even though she'll probably regress for a while. For the longest time she was resistant to the idea (as in, whenever I asked her if she's like to sit on the pot, she'd scream "NO! SIT! POTTY!!!"). So I didn't push it. However she LOVES reading books about toddlers being potty trained. One especially helpful one mentioned the attraction of Big Girl Pants. So I grabbed that idea and played it up as much as I could. However, Mom learned
Lesson #1) Kids do not respond to promises of abstract future rewards well.
Typical exchange: Mom: "Wouldn't you like to wear big girl pants someday?"
Miriam: "Yeah!"
Mom: "Okay, then let's sit on the potty for a little bit."
Miriam: "NO! SIT! POTTY!!!!!"
So the other day when we were bored we went out and bought some Big Girl Pants. Miriam had lots of fun helping to pick them out -- of course she chose some purple ones. And of course when we got home she wanted to try them all on, so we had NEW exchange:
Miriam: "I wanna wear big girl pants!"
Mom: "Okay, then we need to sit on the potty for a little bit first."
Miriam: "Okay!" [begins stripping off clothes]
Mom [thinking]: "Well, that was painless!"
Mom learned lesson #2: Never underestimate the power of BRIBERY.
I do have to confess that chocolate has also been used as an incentive. (When the choclate runs out I've got a bag of little cheapy party favor toys. Remember how much you used to love those?)

Anyway, we are happy to report that after one initial major accident (which she didn't like the feeling of AT ALL) we've pretty much had a string of successes. We weren't sure how things would go at first -- we didn't know if she could interpret the signals in time or maintain enough control. (I've been especially leery since we have all wall-to-wall carpeting!) But I guess she was ready!
And even though I'm getting a little tired of spending most of my days sitting on the bathroom floor, I am looking forward to not changing a toddler's dirty diapers any more!

So... now we get to start it all over again with #3 in a couple months!

da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-da-na-la-
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(FYI: we're counting the current in utero family member as #3. When somebody asks me how many children I have, I like to respond, "Three: one on earth, one in heaven, and one in the oven!") :)

First Post Ever

Welcome, friends and family to our little cyberhome! We've been planning for ages to set up a website so you could get family updates & pictures from us on a more regular basis, and peruse them at your convenience. We'll see how we like the blog thing.
(FYI the previous posts are repeats of updates we already sent out.)
Thanks for stopping by! God bless you all.

Meenum Update

Miriam loves trucks in all varieties -- especially ooh big twucks and bus twucks (somehow busses found their way into the truck category). She will even occasionally say "Meenum LOVE twucks." One of the most exciting and memorable days of her life was when I took her down the street to watch some construction. She was fascinated by the fact that trucks beep whenever they back up. So now she will often walk backwards going, "beep! beep! beep!"
In contrast to getting in touch with her masculine side, whenever we put a dress on her she will hold out the skirt, twirl around, and say, "Look, pwetty!" Proof positive that being girly has got to be in the genes!

The world is plagued by sloth, according to Miriam. Whenever someone is not present, they're therefore probably asleep. Therefore we often hear, "Where Edy is? Edy pobly seeping. Where Desi is? [Desi is the neighbor's big, fluffy, loveable doggie] Desi pobly seeping."

Whenever she wants to show off to a stranger, she reverts to one or more of these three things: "walk-a-bee" (walk like a bear -- walking on hands & feet -- useful skill when wearing a dress); "good jumping" (just jumping up and down); or "whoa! Meenum fall ovah" (very dramatically falling down and flinging her legs in the air). Three tricks sure to charm the pants off any unsuspecting stranger who happens to show interest in her talents. If these don't work, she just shows them her shoes. (a classic trick -- she's been using this one since she could say "shoes")

Speaking of her dramatic side, she is a little superlative girl. Everything is "too" something. It's not just sour, it's TOO sour, or too yucky, or too hot, or too bright. This evening when Greg offered her another bite of dinner she was "TOO all done."

Sneezing is a Big Event. Her sneezes are often accompanied by several fakes, followed by the comment, "Be-dee [bless you] -- Big Sneeze!" One day when she felt a sneeze coming on she dramatically clapped her hands to her face -- only they were about 6 inches too high for her mouth... guess she had to hold those eyeballs in! Greg & I just about fell over laughing.

Latest additions to the Miriamese-English dictionary: bulalala(lalala...)=umbrella. yakin=napkin (she HATES is when her hands get messy. she is SUCH a girl). vamamumum=vitamin. No crankEEEEEEE!!!=I really, really need a nap.

And finally, her version of "Row, row your boat:"
Row, row boat,
down a stweet,
meyly meyly
... yife a dweam!

About Baby #2

Gabriella Mary – 12-6-03 to 1-4-04
(due 8-28-04)

Gabriella is our second daughter. For many months we had been looking forward to her life beginning. Before we conceived our first daughter, Miriam Elizabeth, my gynecologist found a lump in my breast. It turned out to be benign, but because of the size the surgeon recommended that I have it removed. I had planned to do so, until my husband and I learned, much to our surprise, that we were expecting our first baby. We were overjoyed at this news, although I was a little concerned about my now three beast lumps. The surgeon congratulated us and assured me that everything would be fine – just give him a call if I was having any trouble breastfeeding, otherwise contact him after the baby was weaned. Fortunately I didn't encounter any problems, although the lumps grew during the pregnancy, which became uncomfortable sometimes. Interestingly though, they shrank dramatically while I was breastfeeding. I had expected to nurse Miriam well into her second year, but because my husband and I wanted to take care of the lumps before our next child, Miriam was weaned a few months after her first birthday. (I can't help but wonder if the lumps would have disappeared on their own altogether if I had simply continued to nurse longer.)
However, the surgery was performed in October 2003 and the healing progressed well, and about six weeks later my husband and I conceived our second child, right around St. Nicholas' Day (Dec. 6). We were beside ourselves with joy. We have received so much joy through Miriam that we are excited to experience it all again through her siblings. Although we had been tracking my fertility and KNEW I was pregnant, I still bought a pregnancy test (which afterwards I was so thankful I did) and used it on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day we joyfully told our families our happy news. We had planned to let all our friends know as soon as we returned from a family trip in January. (Now I regret that decision – I wish we had gone ahead and told everyone before we left.) I welcomed all the pregnancy signs, even the nausea, believe it or not! It meant I had a new life inside of me. We calculated the due date, I made an appointment to see the doctor when I returned, I even planned out my entire maternity wardrobe according to season! :)
Our family tragedy happened while we were on our trip. The day after we arrived at my parents' house, I started spotting in the evening. I flipped out. What made it harder was that we were 3,000 miles away from my doctor. I called him of course, and he advised me to rest, and suggested it was probably just due to stress from traveling. I relaxed and was able to sleep, but awoke in the middle of the night feeling a heavier flow of blood, and at that point just knew we were going to lose our baby. While the rest of the house slept I sat on the floor of the bathroom and mourned -- the face I would never see, the little hands I would never kiss, the tiny precious body I would never be able to hold. I wasn't angry at all – I simply wept for the loss of all the tomorrows with our child. I wasn't angry with God at all – I knew there was some incomprehensible reason He allowed this to happen. I took comfort in the fact that He was mourning with me – that He loved our little one even more than we did. I also thought about our Mother Mary's loss of her Son, and knew she understood and was grieving with me.
When I called my OB's office the next day, the nurse (who came across very cold, at least to me in my distraught state) recommended that we visit the local emergency room. After 4 hours there, all they could tell me was that I was 5 weeks pregnant and I was bleeding a lot. I WAS angry about this – spending 4 hours and $300 on a hospital visit that didn't do me an ounce of good. Well, that isn't entirely true – the nurse did say that often they really can't do anything – if the baby has already died, obviously they can't stop the miscarriage. I guess I went there with the hope that there was some drug or something they could give me, like they do in your last few weeks to stop premature labor. It hadn't occurred to me that my baby might already be dead.
That afternoon I started to feel cramping, and oddly enough along with the sensations I felt a tremendous peace. I think the hardest part for me was not knowing what was going to happen – but once I finally knew we were going to lose our baby, I could accept it and deal with it. Two days later after a morning of cramping I felt the pass of tissue which I knew was the body of our baby. Unfortunately I wasn't at home at the time so I didn't have anything with me to keep the tiny body in, if there was anything of it left. It just would have been nice if I could have at least seen our baby's body, and somehow provided a kind of burial for it. (I've heard of someone who gave their miscarried son's body in a small jar to their parish priest, and he placed it in the coffin of the next funeral he had, so their baby would be buried in holy ground.) As it was, I passed the tissue while in the church bathroom on a Sunday (which incidentally, or should I say Providentially, was the Feast of the Holy Family), which in its own way was a comfort.
I again called my doctor's office to ask about recovery from a miscarriage, and again the same nurse came across as very cold. She didn't seem to acknowledge that I had just suffered a tremendous loss. I was more than a little upset by this, especially since all my previous experiences with the office had been so good. I was also a little put off by my husband's reaction – I thought he would show a little more grief than he did. I've come to realize however that men and women handle grief differently, and I can accept that even though he doesn't show it very much, or even ever talk about it, he mourned our baby's death too, in his own quiet way.
Anyway, I didn't have much time to brood because there was so much going on with my family. I'm so thankful for this and for many other circumstances surrounding our family tragedy. For one thing, I was glad it happened at my parents' house – I don't know what I would have done if my family hadn't been there. My parents were wonderful in taking care of Miriam so I could rest and recover. For another, because of a family wedding there were lots of other family members there, and they were all wonderful -- very sympathetic and supportive. I felt surrounded by people who loved me and mourned with me. I think it was a shock for everyone because nothing like this has ever happened in my mother's family before (although one of my aunts who married into the family did also miscarry their second baby – and then went on to have two healthy children afterwards).
The hardest part for me was not knowing anything about our baby – it happened so early that we had never heard the heartbeat, nor had the opportunity to see the baby in an ultrasound. The only proof I had of our baby's existence, outside of our own grief, was the pregnancy test I had taken Christmas Eve. I had thought of our baby as Gabriel, after Mrs. Santorum's beautiful book, Letters to Gabriel (about a stillborn baby). One evening shortly after we returned home, as I was lying in bed and letting my mind wander, I suddenly had an image of our baby as a smiling little girl with curly brown hair like her Aunt Mary's. I was so thankful for this moment of grace – I felt so much closer to our lost baby, as if I could finally recognize and celebrate her personhood. With my husband's approval I named her Gabriella Mary. Recognizing her personhood in this way really helped the healing process.
Of course after the loss we wanted to get pregnant again right away – I wanted to fill that feeling of emptiness as quickly as possible. I realize now that this was misguided – out of respect for Gabriella I should have allowed myself longer to mourn the loss of her little life. But as it was we waited about 6 weeks, and conceived again. We were of course excited about our third baby, although apprehensive as well. The miscarriage has taught us that we're not in control of life, and this can bring much worry but also much peace.
So far this pregnancy has gone really well – we've passed safely through the more perilous first trimester. We have an ultrasound picture of our little teddy bear, and have heard the healthy little heartbeat. Everything seems to be going well, but of course I still worry. But the most disconcerting thing for me is that I haven't been able to feel as excited about this baby. I can't exactly explain why – but I almost blame this baby for Gabriella's loss, which is ridiculous. I even think to myself that if Gabriella hadn't died, this baby wouldn't even exist. It's been very hard bonding with this baby – and I feel so guilty about it.
One thing that hurts lately is that my husband seems to have forgotten about our lost baby – from comments he's made it seems as if he's forgotten all about her – while every time I think about my current pregnancy, I think about the baby we lost. I don't know if he's still grieving, or if he really has forgotten. I think that this has the dangerous potential of becoming a little wall between us. The fact that I feel uncomfortable talking about it with him is kind of frightening – I realize how selfish I'm being. I forget that my husband suffered a loss as well – I'm not the only one.
I've also been confused about how to answer questions about what number this is – of course it's #3 since we lost #2, but I've felt that that isn't exactly the kind of thing one brings up in polite conversation with total strangers. I now realize that I shouldn't be ashamed to claim Gabriella as a member of our family. I've thought of a cute little answer -- “We have three children – one on earth, one in heaven, and one in the oven!” -- I only hope I have the courage to use it someday.
I still have the pregnancy test I took. To celebrate Gabriella's due date I plan to get a plaque engraved with her name – hopefully one that has a keepsake compartment to keep the test in. I can tell that I really need reminders of her little life to help me continue to heal – it's when I forget or try to push the reality of her existence to the back of my mind that it hurts the more. I find that the more I think about Gabriella, the easier it is to bear her loss, and the less hostile I feel towards our current Peanut. If we could accept Gabriella as a full-fledged member of the family, I know that would go a long way towards helping us heal, as well as welcome other new members of the family with open arms and hearts.

I wrote this to post on a pregnancy loss web board at a time when I was feeling very low. Reading other mothers' stories and then writing my own -- realizing I was part of a sisterhood of other grieving women -- went a long way towards helping me heal. I haven't purchased the plaque yet, but soon we will attend a memorial service sponsored by my OB/GYN's office for parents who have lost children, where we will be given a few mementos to help us honor the life of our lost child. I have also ordered a bracelet made out of peridot, August's birthstone, to remind me of my little girl. If you know anyone who might also be suffering from such a loss, or would just like some more information about any of the resources I've discovered, please let me know. -- 9/18/04

Yet Another Miriam Update

Phil's mucho hilarioso Edy updates have shamed us into finally sending you all some little bits & pieces about daily life with Miriam. --Jenny

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Miriam's favorite song is now "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star:"

Twinko, twinko, lida da,
How wondo awe,
Up above wo high,
Yike a diamond...
Twinko, twinko, lida da,
How wondo awe,
Up above wo high,
Yike a diamond...
Twinko, twinko, lida da,
How wondo awe,
Up above wo high,
Yike a diamond.... [etc. etc. until Mommy can't stand it any more and tries to distract her]

She's actually quite musical and seems to have an idea of pitch. Her favorite times to sing this are during dinner, during diaper changes, while getting her teeth brushed (ever try to brush the teeth of a singing toddler?), while Mommy is slowly rising to consiousness in the morning (I have to admit it's much better than a buzzer alarm), or really for no reason whatsoever. The other day she was yelling it at the top of her voice, as if it were an angry rap song or something. Daddy took the opportunity to head-bang to her rendition. My kingdom for a handy video camera.

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We blame Uncle Phil and Aunt Rachel for this one:
Miriam's favorite book is The Toddler's Potty Book, or something like that -- around here it's merely known as Potty Book. Miriam insists on reading it not only while on the pot, but before EVERY bedtime. She's also taken to reciting lines at dinner, and in public places like the grocery store ("Hooray! I did it! A-la potty! [I used the potty] Mommy so happy. Gampa so happy.") I've gotten to the point where I flatly refuse to read one line. Fortunately Miriam accepts the concept of "later," so often that will satisfy her, and we can safely turn to "Pac-a-po" (The Very Hungry Caterpillar) or "Night Moon" (Goodnight Moon) for some nice bedtime reading. I would videotape her reading it or reciting it, purely for blackmail material when she's a teenager of course, but I'm too afraid she'd clock me when I tried to show it to potential boyfriends. ;)

"Night Moon" is another perennial favorite. Whenever she sees a brush she'll recite that famous line from the book: "...and a comb, and a brush, and a bowl full of mush, and a quiet old lady whispering 'Hush'." Miriam's version: "e comb, e bush, e bo mush, e quiet... mush. e comb, e bush, e bo mush, e quiet...mush. e comb e bush..." etc etc until once again Mommy goes bananas.

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We've been sort of gradually introducing the idea of Mommy having another baby to Miriam. She's still pretty much clueless, although she loves looking at pictures of babies in the womb and of pregnant women -- I explained that their bellies were so big because there was a baby in there. The other day she pointed to my belly and said, "BIG belly! Baby in 'ere." (keep in mind I'm not even 3 months along yet, so there really isn't THAT much of a bluge yet...) Then she pointed to her own stomach and said, "Big belly! Baby in 'ere." Like I said, clueless. We'll give it a few more months.

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The bane of Miriam's existence has left the neighborhood! Well, yes, we haven't had to turn on the furnace ("fire-boom") for a couple weeks now, but that's not the main reason for her rejoicing. One of her playmates at our church's moms group had a 14-month-old brother named Philip who was the cutest little troublemaker you've ever seen. Rosy, dimpled cheeks to boot. At one of the playgroups he "caressed" one of her chubby little cheeks -- i.e. pinched it. She screamed, and after that whenever he so much as LOOKED at her she flipped out and started frantically clambering up into Mom's lap. What's hilarious is that she's twice the kid's size and could easily have knocked him over any time she chose, but she's too polite. :) (on a happier note, she did deign to kiss him goodnight once when his parents were babysitting for us.) He and his family moved across the country a couple weeks ago, although occasionally Miriam will still reminisce, saying "No Phibip face!"
Needless to say her experience with this little cherub has made her afraid of all boys everywhere -- an attitude which we of course hope she keeps until she's 23.

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FURTHER BULLETINS AS EVENTS WARRANT