Requiescat in Pace

I just got word that my grandfather passed away peacefully in his sleep early this morning. He had just been anointed and heard the prayers for the dying yesterday afternoon -- his parish priest must have been inspired to come over. God is gracious. Thank you all for your prayers. I would like to ask you for them for just a little bit longer, as we hope to travel up to Michigan to be with the family for the next few days.


Mater dolorosa, ora pro nobis!

The Princess and the Pauper

So Katie likes sitting in for Miriam's spelling tests because she thinks the sentences I make up to demonstrate the words are funny (to her). One of Miriam's spelling words last week was "are" so while dictating the test I used the word in the sentence "What ARE you going to be when you grow up?" Without skipping a beat, Katie piped up, "A printheth." I said, "Oh really? You know you'll have to marry a prince, right?" She replied, absolutely sure of herself, "Yeth. That'th what I'm going to do."

A couple days later for science I was reading to Miriam about farms. One of the books is a neat little book about a farm through the seasons. At the end Miriam sighed and said, "I wish I lived on a farm. When I grow up I'm going to be a farmer." She was undaunted by the fact that farming is lots of hard work. She insisted that she was going to grow cows and horses and apple trees and corn.

This Too Shall Pass

I just checked an early For Better or For Worse collection out of the library. It's been very healing for me. She Knows! She Understands! She's been There! I have to admit I'm enjoying going back in time with the strip -- I'm finding it extremely relevant.

For example, this has been our life the last couple weeks. The good news is that it's not strep, pneumonia, or an ear infection. The bad news is that it's just taking a long time to go away. And meanwhile no one is getting much sleep. Snarl indeed.

Fat flushing can be hanged right now for all I care -- I'm living off of caffeine and Valentine's Day chocolate, until I get a decent night's sleep again. thistooshallpassthistooshallpassthistooshallpassthistoo...

Chore Day

We begin training our free labor early.

The Groundhog must have actually come out this year...

We had some lovely warm weather last week. We made sure to make the most of it!

Of course, the kids had to go outside barefoot.

...ALL of them.

Joseph wasn't sure what to think about the ground -- I think he thought the concrete was scratchy.


Playing "ring around the rosie."

And, of course, having a picnic lunch! No warm day is complete without one!

We didn't get too much school done -- for one thing Joseph was sick and teething and therefore miserable and clingy -- and I wanted the girls to soak up all the sunshine they could while it lasted. A funny thing about sunshine -- one warm day I sat outside with the kids for an hour or two -- we had lunch, they ran up and down, Joseph tried to eat old dead leaves, and I just sat in the sunshine. It was utterly glorious. I felt so cheerful and contented and just plain happy with the world for the rest of the day. It's amazing what sunshine will do for you! Later in the afternoon as we were driving out to run some errands, I felt myself suddenly transported back to my childhood -- something about the straightness of that particular road and the quality of the light awoke memories of being driven around in the car in the warm afternoons -- particularly one stretch along Palos Verdes Drive North. (I could just see the divider filled pampas grasses waving from the wind of passing cars.) For one day in winter, Virginia felt just like early summer in California. Don't get me wrong -- I'm glad to be living where I am: I happen to like the dramatic changing of seasons and the snow. But whenever we have a mild, sunny day, I'm always time-warped back to my childhood and am filled with contentment. And life is suddenly good.

Take that, UK atheists

You've heard of those atheist signs on buses, right? Well, here's Gregory Popcak's rejoinder:


You can play too at the bus slogan generator.

Here's mine.

So, I'm dieting.

Sort of.

I just find it depressing still having to wear maternity clothes several months after a baby is born. It just doesn't seem FAIR. When I was pregnant with Joseph I was DETERMINED that I was going to be as healthy as I had been with Miriam. I had so many grand plans of eating right and walking every day -- we even got bikes for the kids so that after the baby was born we could go on long walks together -- and then I was sick off an on for most of the last trimester, which effectively chucked all those lovely plans right out the window. I didn't gain too much -- at least my doctor never said anything. But it still wasn't the controlled, healthy weight gain I had hoped for -- the kind that sheds right off after birth (like with Miriam -- I was back in regular clothes after 2 months). Six months after Joseph was born I still hadn't lost a significant amount of weight since the initial postpartum period, even with breastfeeding. I felt like I had hit a plateau, so I tried cutting calories. That didn't work -- all it did was make me cranky and hungry all the time. Nursing moms really can't cut calories drastically!

Then Christmas came, with all the delicious treats and sweets and cookies and breads and feasting and sugar and oh me oh my! Talk about carb overload. I was ready for some serious detox by the time the New Year rolled around. Right about then I followed a rabbit trail from Elizabeth Foss's blog about a diet she was going to try that was friendly to nursing moms, and helped her with detachment. A little light went off for me. I happen to love carbs -- pasta, breads, cookies, crackers -- these are my comfort foods. And whenever I'm feeling stressed I tend to pop a couple crackers, or butter up a slice of bread, to help my mood. There's something about munching that's comforting to me.

While reading about this diet I also came across the blogs of two other women who really inspired me. One talked about the amazing amount of weight she lost on the Fat Flush Plan, but more importantly, all the spiritual lessons she gained in the process. I think she might even have experienced a conversion to the Catholic Church. (all from her diet!) Another blogger really struck me with her spiritual insights into food and the purpose of eating. From this one I adopted the motto "Eat to live, not live to eat." I borrowed The Fat Flush Plan (I really hate the name) from the library and dove into it. It makes so much sense -- it's all about getting your liver working at peak efficiency to burn up extra fat stores. I've been recommending it to everyone I know who's struggling with the same issue.

From these three sources I realized why it is that I hadn't been losing weight. Often my reasons for eating are emotional, rather than what they should be -- hunger. I need to wait until I feel hungry to eat something. And then I should eat something nourishing. And stop when I feel full enough. I wasn't doing any of these things on a regular basis.

So on January 2nd I started eating based on a modified version of the Fat Flush plan. I started drinking hot water w/freshly squoze lemon juice (and some honey -- not part of the Plan!) every morning before breakfast. This was surprisingly yummy and satisfying -- I find I don't feel the need for tea anymore. I also tried to begin every meal with fruit or a salad, eating a good bit of protein, and saving anything starchy for the very end, IF I was still hungry. I snacked on almonds in between meals, which are really very satisfying in small doses. I also tried drinking diluted unsweetened cranberry juice, but I think that was just a little too intense! Mostly, I just tried to be conscious of what I was eating and why I was eating. On Sundays I relax a little -- I'll allow myself the occasional donut, and snacks between meals, and desserts, and such. It's nice having one day where I don't have to be on top of everything I eat all the time. I've also been keeping a journal and noting everything that I put in my mouth each day. It's amazing how this can nip temptation in the bud, when you know you're going to have to admit it to yourself and write it down!

So anyway, the results? In less than two weeks, Mr. Pickles said he could notice a difference already. Most of the cottage cheese effect on my thighs was gone. I dropped a pants size. I lost 3 inches from my hips. I felt more alive during the day. I don't have a scale, so I don't know how much weight I've lost, but that's not as important to me as clothing sizes! I'm SO glad to be OUT of my pregnant clothes, FINALLY!!

My next goal is to get the leftover baby belly to shrink a bit. I will probably need to be more disciplined about exercising every day -- by which I mean I will need to actually start doing it. :) But I'm confident now that I can get back in some semblance of shape -- something other than "squashy pear."

The hardest thing about living a healthy life right now has to be the whole exercise thing. I don't like exercising for its own sake. The idea of going to a gym is sheer torture to me -- it seems like such a phenominal waste of my time. I've got so many other better things I could be doing! Like cleaning my house! Or baking! Or reading! Being a mom -- specifically, a homeschooling mom -- places definite limits on one's free time. Every minute is precious. But I love being outside. I love gardening, I love sitting outside under a tree, I love walking. I would LOVE to take a 45-minute walk every day, but exactly where I would fit that in, with 3 children, continues to
baffle me. Ideally I'd like to take my walks alone, since taking children with you instantly renders a "walk" into a crawl, since you'll be stopping at every tree and rock and puddle along the way. I guess the answer is to make better use of our jogging stroller of sorts. It's especially difficult in cold weather, since everybody who isn't exercising would need to be especially bundled up. I get stressed just thinking about it, it's such a hassle. I suppose I ought to dust off those lovely ballet exercise DVDs that were given to me, which are perfect for bad weather.

So basically what I'm seeing here is that I really have no excuse for not exercising. If it were a priority. Which it should be. Hm, need to work on this one....

I may have more things to say as I continue with this conscientious eating thing. For now, it's been very eye-opening. And humbling. You never realize how attached you are to something until you try to give it up....

Girl meets fallen world

It was only a matter of time.

One of Miriam's neighborhood friends introduced her to the "I" word. You know, that thing that a boy and a girl do when they're grown up, as Miriam put it. "But I have no idea what she was talking about." I had had a feeling that this was coming -- after all, all the neighborhood kids go to public school where sex ed starts in what, 4th grade? Something ridiculously early.

So Miriam and I sat down and had a little talk. Basically we talked about the wonderfulness of family and the love between a husband and wife, and how the tricksy devil -- remember the Garden of Eden when he lied to Eve? -- wants to take everything beautiful and twist it. I told her I'd let her know more about it when she was a little older and could understand better. She was perfectly content with my explanations and as far as I know hasn't thought twice about it. I also thanked her for confiding in me in the first place -- that really warmed my heart, and made me feel more than anything else that I must be doing something right. If only I can keep that trust, there are so many future problems I won't have to worry about.

On the flipside of this friendship, Miriam may be an avenue of grace herself. The other girl's family is Catholic -- at least they go to Mass at a nearby parish -- but I don't think it goes much beyond that, small blame to them. I'm sure the parents had little faith formation, especially since the mom told me they both came from families that had suffered through messy and painful divorces. Anyway, one Friday when Miriam's friend came over the topic of candy or dessert came up, and Miriam piped up, "Oh, but we don't have dessert today, because it's Friday."
The friend: "Why?"
Miriam: "Because Jesus died on a Friday."
The friend: "So?"
Miriam, with a definite "duh" tone: "So, because he gave His life for us, we give something up for Him."
The friend: "Why?"
Miriam, after thinking a moment: "To make Him happy."
Pause. Then, "Why?"
Miriam was speechless. She couldn't fathom that it would be necessary to explain why someone wouldn't want to make Jesus happy. The idea of Jesus loving us and wanting us to love Him back was such an integral part of her child's faith that she couldn't imagine life any other way. After that pause the conversation moved on to something else, but Mr. Pickles and I kept these things and pondered them in our hearts.

It will be interesting to see what comes of this friendship. I hope and pray that Miriam will receive a gentle exposure to the world outside -- to perceive how different we Catholics really are -- but also that some avenues of grace might be opened to Miriam's friend that she might not otherwise receive. In her own simple way, Miriam is already a little evangelizer.


art credit: "Little Girl with Pray Rock" by Laura Monahan, from Allposters.com

A Despair Like Unto No Other

No! NO! Say it isn't GONE!

He's like this whenever he finishes off a bowl of food before he decides he's full -- as in, can't-possibly-stuff-another-molecule-in-because-I'd-burst kind of full. He rarely gets to that point, because we always cut him off. We're not willing to find out what that bursting point is. So usually we clean him up, under protest of course, and set him down with a handful of O's (God's gift to toddlers!) to lessen his grief, until he gets distracted by something else, like pulling off the front panel of the dishwasher. Or taking all my baking pans out of the cupboard. Or playing with the sharp blades of the food processor. You know, the usual baby boy stuff.

Here comes trouble, continued!

When you've got two older siblings who like to "help,"


...you tend to learn to walk pretty early.



At just barely 10 months, in fact.