Alrighty, here's some text to go with all those cute pictures. :)
So... Joseph at one month. Gosh, one month already! I can't believe he's going to be 6 weeks old. Six weeks!!! He won't be a newborn anymore -- just a generic infant! How did the postpartum time go so quickly? They do grow up so fast -- next week he'll be driving, and a month after that he'll be married (or ordained!), I'm sure. The day after he was born I even mourned a little, since he wasn't brand-spanking new any more. When Katie was born, I was so impatient during her newborn period -- I couldn't wait for her to be 4 months old, since that's when they start getting really cute. But with Joseph I'm treasuring each day because I know how this time of sweet helplessness will speed by. (That thought also gets me through the bad nights and cranky days.) :)
So what is he like, you ask?
First of all, I maintain my claim that he is still the sweetest, cutest, most precious little baby boy ever to grace the earth with his presence, saving God Incarnate. :) Of course, he's not going to be little for very long. He's ALREADY grown out of some of his newborn clothes. At one month!!! I'm afraid he is going to be a FAT baby. At his one month checkup he was already 10 lbs. He's not going to have ANY trouble doubling his birth weight by 6 months! At this rate it's more likely that he'll be the size of a small elephant by then. A very CUTE elephant, of course. But he is rounding out quite nicely. He's starting to get those yummy rounded thighs and snap-on hands wrist creases. :) And talk about muscle definition! Daddy's going to teach him how to flex soon. We've both noticed how strong he is -- all his movements are very definite. He's constantly trying to kill himself by flinging himself backwards out of our arms. He's also holding himself up high for longer periods during tummy time. As far as looks go, his jaundice is just about disappeared and the newborn redness is long gone, so his skin has that little-pink-cherub look. His hair is blond just like Miriam's was, and he's got a lot of it -- but at least it lies down nicely, unlike Katie the fuzz head's. :) His eyes are blue, of course, and my guess is that they're going to be that beautiful clear blue like Daddy's.
Needless to say, he has a very hearty appetite (just like a man). He would nurse all day if I let him. He also has a very STRONG suck. (I'm still a little sore!) Grandma E. informs me that her boys were like that too -- must be a guy thing. He's a cheerful eater -- I remember with the girls that when they were upset, sometimes it took them a while to calm down and eat. Not Joseph. Once he's latched on -- or he senses that it's about to happen -- he's instantly calm and gets down to business. It's like flipping a switch. Most of his moods are like that, actually -- he's either on or off. It's pretty funny, especially when he's tired. He can be crabby and shrieking into your ear while you're walking with him, and then 20 seconds later he's sacked out. He has his cranky moments, especially right before dinner, of course. (I'm going to have to get out my crockpot cookbook and start making dinner during nap time!) But usually when he's awake he's relatively cheerful, especially right after he eats. :) He's been awake for longer periods of time now, during which I usually put him on a blanket so the girls can hover around and talk to him. Katie mostly ignores him -- she'll do drive-by lovings but won't hang around for long -- while Miriam will happily lie next to him and talk to him, begging to pick him up and hold him. As might be expected, Miriam always gets the biggest reaction out of Joseph.
She was the one who got him to smile for the first time -- at one week old! He gives Mommy some nice baby grins too.
As far as sleeping goes, it's going about as well as can be expected for life with a newborn. Which means we're sleeping about every third night. :) Well, maybe not quite that bad. We do get SOME sleep every night -- often taking it in shifts. His crib is next to our bed, an arrangement which has worked well for us with all our babies. For the first couple weeks I slept with him in my arms, which was very sweet. But then his boy personality started to emerge. More to the point, the boy NOISES began to emerge, in the form of grunting. Like, the kind of grunting that mommy made to push him out. He is an extremely noisy baby, especially between 2 and 4 am. He doesn't seem to be in pain at all -- he just makes a lot of noise when we want to sleep! As far as we can tell, he seems to be especially sensitive when I eat spicy foods. (at first I thought it was chocolate -- horrors!) But at least it doesn't make him colicky. We're learning to tune him out during the night -- to distinguish between just grunting, and genuine fussing. During bad nights we just remind ourselves, "This too shall pass." We were well rested before he was born -- so there is hope that we will sleep again! When he isn't hungry, or wet, or gassy, he sleeps fairly well at night. So we have hope that as soon as his little innards get themselves organized, he'll do better at night. It's so hard when your entire life revolves around your bowels. As we get to know him better we're figuring out what he likes -- we've learned that for sleeping he does well in his own bed as long as he's swaddled so he can't wake himself up by his arms flailing around. He likes to snoogle -- not snuggle,
snoogle -- you have to say it with your lips puckered out.
In general Joseph seems to be a fairly well-organized baby. He got onto an eat-wake-sleep routine right away, takes a long nap in the afternoon, and practically puts himself to bed at 8 pm. We're sort of amazed! The last couple days he's been a little fussy and disorganized, wanting to nurse more frequently and having a hard time sleeping, but we think it's because he was just circumcised and so is recovering a bit from that. We decided to wait to have that done -- usually it's done in the hospital the day after the baby is born, but that just seemed too soon to me. He was so brand new, I wanted to give him at least a couple days to enjoy life outside before we traumatized him. :) Plus I didn't want to interfere with getting breastfeeding established during those critical early days, and that procedure tends to screw up the schedule for a good part of the day. We wanted to have it done a week after he was born (eighth day and all that) but then he got really jaundiced, so we wanted to get that under control first -- one crisis at a time! :) Today he seemed better -- more cheerful, so I think we're over the hump.
It's really true what they say about the third baby -- so far it has been the easiest. I'm sure that he cries as much as my other babies, and makes as many messes as the others, and sleeps as little as the others, and frustrates us as much as the others in trying to figure out WHAT the heck he needs -- but now I've gained a little perspective. I know this phase is going to rocket by, so I tend to enjoy the precious moments and forbear the trying moments better. I don't flip out when he cries -- I've gained a tolerance for listening to a crying baby. :) I'm much more likely to finish whatever task I'm doing when he starts crying, whereas with Miriam I would have dropped whatever I was doing to attend to her immediately, and then ended up resenting her for being so demanding and messing up my day. Now I feel able to let Joseph cry for a minute or two, until I'm mentally ready to focus completely on him. At this rate I'm training him for the opera -- he's been producing some volume lately. :) Miriam is also starting to be a big help in this area -- she can pick him up and hold him for a little bit while I'm finishing up, and doesn't seem to mind him screaming in her face. :) I can see how having more kids is actually going to be easier -- there are lots more hands to help out, especially with holding the baby. It's hard when all your kids are little -- a friend calls this "baby boot camp" -- but when they get old enough to have some responsibility mom's life gets a lot easier. Our kids are going to learn to cook and clean and do their own laundry at a very early age, I can tell you! Meanwhile I'm learning to live with dusty furniture and dirty floors and cluttered living space -- this too shall pass. I feel absolutely no guilt in sitting down and just holding the baby and not doing anything else. It's a glorious feeling, being guilt-free. :)
So anyway aside from gaining some parental maturity and perspective, I've also had lots and lots and lots of support from friends and family to get us through these last couple weeks. I think I've only been alone with the kids for two whole days in the last six weeks. And I've cooked two dinners -- Mr. Pickles and friends have taken over the rest. Our fridge is FULL of food. We have such excellent friends. (who are excellent cooks, I must say!) Someone -- I'm not sure who -- said that a very likely cause of postpartum depression is lack of support -- moms trying to get back to doing too many things too soon, and then feeling overwhelmed and burning out as a result. I haven't had one ounce of depression, not even baby blues, since Joseph was born. Every once in a while I'll have a "That's IT! I'm SO done!" moment, but that's usually when Joseph has been fussy in the evening and wanted to nurse off and on for two hours, at which point I hand him to Daddy and go play on the computer. But never have I felt pushed to the edge of sanity. (I'm sure that will come soon enough, though, when all the family goes home and the free meals stop.) :) I'm just extremely grateful for all the help I've received. I know it's contributed in a huge way to my enjoyment of having another baby.
So how are my other children doing, you ask? Wait, I have other children? What other children? Oh, you must mean the other baby holders.
Like this one, who asks to hold the baby at the most inopportune times (like when he's nursing, or needing a nap), and who is satisfied after about 30 seconds.
Or this one, who would hold him all day if we let her.
Grandpa with the bitty boy! My dad is a great baby holder. He is completely imperturbable. Whenever Joseph was fussing before a nap, my dad would pick him up and calmly walk the living room with him, merrily singing bawdy sea shanties and completely disregarding the fact that Joseph was shrieking in his ear, until Joseph fell asleep peacefully on his shoulder. Mom B. assures me that he was the same way with us kids. It was great to have such an expert baby-putter-to-sleeper on hand!
There's nothing in the world like holding a sleeping baby. (I'll never forget the first time I held a friend's newborn while it fell asleep in my arms -- I could have stayed like that all day.)
Building grass houses after one picnic lunch. (Katie's providing the raw material)
Interesting that my dad build in 3-D, while Miriam drew with lines of grass.
Joseph loved being outside -- he just stared and stared. (It was warm enough -- upper 70s and 80s most days -- that I was able to take off his shirt and give him the much-needed sunshine to get rid of the jaundice. It worked -- at his 1 month checkup the doctor said his color looked really good, so he wouldn't have to get any more blood tests, thank goodness!)
